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Newsletter 2006/07
Since 2003/04 the club has produced weekly match reports. From the start of the 2005/06 season this became a weekly newsletter, distributed during the season, containing match reports from each of the games played that weekend as well as other key information and a selection of adverts and offers.
Fri 19-Jan-07Issue 15
So the optimistic predictions pre-Christmas have been borne out – a new year and an apparently reinvigorated club – from eleven games, there were seven victories, two draws and only a couple of losses. Fortunately those who made it out to Australia didn’t bring the luck of the English back with them – on the contrary, Nick Jacob, as described evocatively below, seems to have been inspired by watching the hapless cricketers, or just perfected the art of sledging…
Although the top score of the weekend came from the men’s 5s who didn’t actually play a game, there were plenty of goals and tensely fought matches to savour. Some particularly satisfying victories are described below from the men’s 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s, the women’s 1s and 2s both fought back from losing positions to sneak wins, while the women’s 4s gained a gutsy draw. Slow and steady wins the race, so just the time to come into a run of form and make this the start of something special.
Reports by: Rob Heath, Mr SBMA, Wes Cole, Mark Jones, Billy Dowie, Gemma Baker, Kate Selway, Karen Dodds, Claire Whitehead, Kate Straker.
Men’s 1s vs. Gore Court: Won 4-0
The diary of Sam H aged 29 ¼ - Saturday 12 January 2007
Well - wasn’t I in a good mood!! I had just finished those big horrible exams; Lucy said I could go out to play, extended my curfew to 6pm!!!… (I really am the boss of the relationship even if Smudge does tease me about it) and then Uncle Gary said I can play for the first team with him (well, he’s not my real uncle but he is now a daddy and has a nice family car so I thought it was a funny nickname – he didn’t).
We all spoke in the changing room, but I wasn’t paying attention as I was putting on my nice new grip. It’s yellow. We were playing against this side who came from far away - I thought Australia ‘coz they had this strange sounding fat bloke who got sent off for talking to the ref (must’ve been his accent). They played well, but they couldn’t score… they almost did but one guy kicked the ball into the goals… silly!! Bubs also kicked the ball, but he went to the hospital for some X-rays.
We scored 2 goals quickly from short corners - one from the tall Scot and the other from Will (his goal looked really good!!). After a break for cool drinks and water, I sat the side of the pitch and spoke to this other guy called Simon who also finished his exams last year. We spoke about Algebra, Geography, X Box and girls (apparently he doesn’t struggle).
I came back on and this surfer dude scored a goal under the keeper. Everyone thought it was a clever goal but I heard Richard say he actually mis-stopped it and was lucky. He rambled on about when he was young and something he would’ve done. I like Richard. He’s ever the professional, passing on his decades of experience to the youngsters like me and the surfer dude. The tall Scottish guy then missed a flick and I heard Richard say something about how he used to flick off grass and how things are not like they used to be. I guess everything must’ve been in black and white? I must remember to ask him next time.
Will then scored another very pretty goal, but soon after that one of our funny sounding guys from Africa got sent off for ten minutes. I didn’t see what happened, and everyone else I asked didn’t know either. Strange!! Near the end, poor Smudger also went off when their captain ran into his shoulder. I thought I saw tears in his eyes but he said it was the cold wind. He is a true fighter, our Smudge!
And that’s how it ended. Afterwards we went back to the clubhouse for a Fanta and I was home by 5:30pm. I had so much fun today and I really hope I can play with those boys again next week! Thanks Uncle Gary!(RH)
Team: Team – Duncan, Gaz, Bubs, Smudge, Banners, Gary, Bungle, Tom, Jimmy, Sam, Will, Rob, James, Climax, Andy
Scorers: Will x 2, Andy, James
MOTM: Tom X
TFC: Rob
Next game: Saturday 20 January, vs. West Hampstead away
Men's 2s vs. London Wayfarers 2s: Won 4-3
Saturday 13th January – Kennington Park – 14:34pm
The 2nd Team has fought their way back into the game after going behind twice in the first half, there is a minute left before half time and the score is 2-2. THD begin one last attack before the interval and it this is how it goes:
(Nick Jacob’s turns to the player marking him in the D)
Nick Jacob: Mate have you ever seen the “Jacob’s Swivel”
(The bemused Wayfarers player marking nick responds)
Marker: You’re full of sh*t
The ball is fired into the D at pace, Nick Jacob picks it up with his back to goal, swivels so quickly that he collapses to the ground, the ball is in the goal and the keeper and marker are just stood scratching their heads. Cue Nick celebrating like Dennis Taylor when he won the Snooker World Championship, wagging his finger and waving his stick above his head, and so the ‘Jacob’s Swivel’ was born. (He will be demonstrating)
We continued to dominate the game at the start of the second half and converted that pressure into what proved to be a crucial goal, scored by the ginger ninja from approximately 92cm. Wayfarers fought their way back into contention with a third goal, and as the 2’s have drawn so many games this season with the scores so close it was a nervous final 10 minutes but we pulled through.
Good day: Goal-shy Ed getting on the score sheet…….finally Bad Day: Chris Coleman faking injury after 10mins Shot of the day: John Nurse demonstrating that power isn’t always important Umpire watch: Wayfarers provided both; we played a 45mins second half. Moan of the day: Potty getting voted TFC
Team: The man on a date who didn’t get any, Coleman, Fez, The goal shy, Hoff, JD and Coke, Vicary, Darkie 1, Darkie 2, Laurent, MK Dons, Strawberry Blond My Ar*e, Casper the drunken ghost, Christmas Borat
Umpires: Them
MOTM: Christmas Borat
Men's 3s vs. Wayfarers 3s: Won 3-2
Alex McDonald pointed out before the start of this match that it's the first time the captain has turned out sober this season. Well you'll be glad to know I won't be making a habit of it as it certainly didn't help the performance.
For first game back after 4 weeks we expected to be a little off the pace and out of touch and we were. Having said that both their goals weren't. One was outside the 'D' and their umpire from the OTHER end of the pitch gave it. Then the same umpire allowed a diving back stick effort to stand so we got angry and scored 3 from 3 short corners including drag flicks from Timmy and Nick executed with precision and then a well worked 1-2 for Foggy to sneak in at the far post.
So 3 points for us. None for them. Happy days. (WC)
Umpire: Billy
Scorer(s): Tim Sylvester, Nick Harris, Foggy
Next match: Saturday 20th Home V's Reading 3's.
Tornados vs. Wayfarers 4s: Won 7-2
Doing the double over the Way-fairies is always pleasing... so to rock up on an early, cold miserable Saturday morning while the sun is still rising and the milkman is still knocking off the missus is always a pleasure, especially when the only pitch they can seem to manage is in Kingston. A club in turmoil perhaps... no home pitch, a pub for a clubhouse and a team that hasn't won in the league this season. For our part we were happy to bask in our own success, talk-up our clubhouse, ignore the fact that they offer no showering facilities or teas and set about destroying them 7-2. They lost and they lost bad... apparently their goalie dislocated his hip... it must have been some consolation then that if he had 7 hips and go-go gadget arms he still wouldn't have saved our short corners.
If we left the pitch knowing anything it was that they so wanted to be us... Nice to see the 2s & 3s beat them as well... that's three doubles - maybe if they drank that would help! (MJ)
Team: Alex Timmer (GK), MJ, Roland Ferneaux, Charlie Krasun, James Perrott, Dougal Davis, Will Lucas, Jon Kirby, Alex Fishwick, Si Riley, Si Wilshire, Dan Hopkins, Tom Alexander & Nick Jones.
Scorer(s): Tom Alexander (5), Jon Kirby & James Perrott
MotM: Tom Alexander
Umpire: Chris Richman.
Next match: Saturday 20 January vs. Reading 4s (Away)
Diamonds vs. Indian Gym 5s. Won 10-0 (Walkover)
What an uninspiring way to win our first three points of the season, and double our goal tally. But we’re not complaining. We had a practice session instead, and it was probably just as well we already had the points in the bag! (BD)
Next game: Saturday 20th Jan. Home to Teddington 5s, 12.00 at DC (Friendly).
Royals - No Game
Next Game: 20th Saturday vs. HAC Sutlers 15:30 start
Women’s 1s vs. Henley 1s - Trophy Round 2: Won 3-1
Henley, doing well in the league below us, certainly made this a more difficult contest than it maybe looked on paper. In addition, our meet time, designed to give us time to prepare ourselves, was somewhat hampered by the 20 minute tailbacks that led into Henley itself, but at least it was picturesque and there were nice rowers to look at. We started the match pretty well, but Henley were strong at the back and kept us away from their goal. Lou had an early chance from a PC, but saw the ball late and it hit foot before stick, and while the home side made some chances, the 0-0 scoreline remained for some time.
Unfortunately for THD, it was Henley who opened the scoring, a well worked routine perhaps, but one that seemed to surprise the scorer as much as our defence. As Henley pushed for a second (Alex saved one off the line and pipes made some crucial saves) we continued to press at the other end too. Gemma went off for a little run, eventually winning a short corner - Lou's initial shot was saved, but Lisa got on the end of the rebound to make it 1-1, just minutes before half time. Will's half time team talk was encouraging and we were incentivised to continue where we left off.
Our second half was a distinct improvement on the first, the defence held strong and Nicky worked tirelessly across the back to cut out Henley's long balls through. After winning several short corners in the half, many of which hit the wheel of the goal (shots 15cm to the right and we could have been many goals ahead!), Will persevered with Alex at the top and she put us 2-1 up. At this point we had most of the play and were comfortable. In the dying minutes THD were awarded a penalty corner....and on the second attempt, B won a penalty flick, which Kath stepped up to convert to give us the 3-1 win. Slow start, but improving. The mince pies must be starting to disappear.... (GB)
Team: Pipes, Alex Crawford, Kath Sowter, Clare Byrne, Bettina Wolff, Nicky Prior, Lisa Cox, Gemma Baker, Faye Billing, EJ Barry, Lou Morgan & Sharon Smith.
Scorers: Lisa, Alex & Kath
Motm: Nicky
Next match: Away v Reading (training game). 12pm
Women’s 2s vs. Old Georgians: Won 2-1
Fresh from their winter training camp in Barbados, the 2nd XI emerged into the drizzle and watery sunshine of St George's College Weybridge looking fit, lean and eager for action. That was a dream I had last week. Actually 3 people were badly late, someone was sporting a hangover, another a sore ankle. There was also a headache, a curled up (the wrong way) toe, and a near volcanic eruption at some dodgy umpiring decisions. Add this together and apparently what you get is a team that doesn't switch the ball round the back quickly enough, or help out the right midfield when she gets surrounded by 5 of the oppo. Fortunately Gordon was on hand to reveal these mysteries at half time and the 1-0 deficit didn't last long – Kato charged down the right, tonking in a cross, a bit of a scrabbly forgettable moment, but the advantage rule worked for us and Hannah got the ball in the goal. Jubilation and renewed determination and the team started to play confidently and dare I say it, almost stylishly. The winning goal came after some great work by Rosie on the right, pulling the ball back for Sarah to slot home. Nerves held til the end, just about, and the victory was in the bag. (KS)
Team: Dulcie, Kato, Shorty, Hannah, Lucy May, Muldoon, Rosie, Biba, Emma, Sarah B, Claire H, Zoey
Scorers: Hannah, Sarah
POTM: Hannah
Chief supporter: the (slowly mending) Thumb
Umpire: Mark Annear
Next game: 11.00 JAGs, 20 Jan v Reigate.
Women’s 3s vs. Merton 1s: Lost 1-3
We got mental negativity by reminding ourselves of our crushing 6 – 1 defeat in the first fixture of the season against top of the table Merton. We then remembered that we actually play as a team these days and actually we can look jolly good at times! In true teamy fashion Lou came to the rescue as Mo realised she had forgotten her contact lenses. A quick chat about prescription (-2.5 and -2 was it?) and Mo was sorted. We reassured Emma that such things as disposable contact lenses exist and no they weren’t being plucked out of Lou’s eyes when we made a substitution.
There had been much concern that out regular keeper Dulcie was playing in the twos especially as reserve keeper Jen wasn’t playing either. Fortunately Lou had found Lauren who turned in a star performance. We weren’t really ready when Merton scored within the first two minutes, but then we got the hang of it and started defending, with George and Rachel closing down the middle and making Merton’s (rather good) centre midfield dribble in circles until finally succumbing and handing the ball over. We then eventually got the whole thing going and started putting pressure on their defence eventually getting a penalty flick. Presumably baffled at the clarity of her vision Mo squandered this opportunity by not really contacting with the ball; the keeper theatrically threw herself to the ground and the ball eventually reached her body.
More of the same in the second half until we scored – and it was fantastic move from left defence, across the back, quickly up the right wing, bit of a dribble and great pass from Helen and Lucy found herself two yards out on the left side of the goal with only the keeper to beat. In this situation we have been known to miss but Lucy had her own contact lenses in and couldn’t think of another excuse quickly enough so scored instead.
We cruised to 10 minutes from time looking as though we would at least get a point and with Merton clearly thinking they had blown it, when we for some reason we let them back in to the game, and gave away two short corners in quick succession which both resulted in goals. Oh pooh! (KD)
Team: Lauren; Stacey; Capt Lou; Rachel; Karen; Emma P; George; Beth; Rosie; Lucy; Mo; Helen
POTM: Rachel and Emma
Scorer: Lucy
Umpire: Kath Sowter
Loser on heads and tails (2-1 with Kath again officiating) to write the match report: Karen (although I do try to be as useless as possible in the hope of being sacked)
Next game: no fixture Saturday 20 Jan we will be gracing some hockey pitch near you on 27th v Woking Vets
Women 4’s vs. Cranleigh Ladies 1’s: Drew 2-2
First game back after Christmas, 40 miles into deepest Surrey. Not the best start. We thought we would have a chance – we beat this team 5-0 back in September, however they seemed to have undergone significant change and grown by 50%. Cranleigh also seemed to benefit from having played the previous weekend, and were strong and attacking from the start. They managed to get an early first goal (against poor Olivia in a medley of mismatched uncomfortable kit!), and things started to look a bit depressing. Then – marvellous – a sneaky left post goal from a completely unmarked Marie brought us right back into the game. Half time and quick chat were followed by another perfect formation type goal from a short corner – bashed in again by Marie. Cranleigh came right back and had several near misses – and finally converted one to secure a draw. Fair result really. Good teas too. (CW)
Team: Olivia Salau, Nikki Smithies, Lindsey Maclaren, Anna Stuttard, Sarah Anderson, Lucy Snell, Lynne Ruddick, Mary Cook, Jena Kitley, Is Thompson, Marie Smith, Kate Lievesley, Emma Billsdon, Claire Whitehead.
Women’s 5s – No Game
Next game: 20 Jan - 1.30 pm at DC against Richmond 4s
Women’s 6s vs. Berrylands 1s: Lost 1-5
Hmm... The reality of not having played a match since Dec 2nd came rushing up to hit us with a bang. We weren't helped by the shall we say "family values" of the opposition but we shan't be sore losers - onwards and upwards! (KS)
Team: Charlotte Ryan (GK), Jo Hillyer, Shona Chambers, Jess Beach, Kate Straker (C), Alanna Macintosh, Lex Price, Mae-Lynn McDougall, Gigi Ho, Karen Logan, Vicky Wright, Izzy Freeman, Mags Aylward, Lucy Gilchrist, Isla McGregor
Umpire: Ian Wright
Dragons vs. Spencer: Drew 4-4
Ouch... a real blood and guts display... coming from behind more times than teenage boy at the docks it finally ended with an equaliser slightly more impressive than Edward Woodward. Still when the Dragons draw, they draw more than just the game... they draw blood as well. (MJ)
Team: Piggy (GK), MJ, Ed, Coleman, James Kirby, Aido, Si Riley, Gareth Norris, Linds McClaren, Dr Hannah, Ellie, Bini, & Snellers.
Scorer(s): Aido (2), Coleman & Ellie.
Umpire: Selina Leleu
Next game: Sunday 21 January vs. Real Battersea
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